I just need to say: I cannot commit to taking on any new artistic projects, or whatever else I keep biting off whimsically and stupidly, thinking I can just sit behind a computer anymore and churn out. Like my loop which is due near the end of next week.
My baby takes priority.
I admit now, as a single/solo mum, whilst my babysitters have been travelling overseas, I have been going bonkers.
And I keep whittling away my free time when she is conked out just doing this. Because making animation demands too many braincells and too much mental energy.
I need to prioritise my own sanity, and being a good mum.
I am not looking for work.
Also, I am not ever putting her in childcare.
I know a career is a source of 'me time' for many mums, that's seems to be the reason they work again half the time. But I wanted to be a present and very creative human being. I want to be there for her as she begins to take on the world.
She is becoming super demanding of my attention right now, already.
Therefore, I will try my best to sneak in the time to finish my LoopdeLoop, but I went nearly mental yesterday because I was so ridiculously exhausted. I will keep trying, but I don't enjoy looming deadlines, even monthly ones (I started late for this loop anyways).
A grandmother I talked to at a playgroup this morning mentioned: 'Nobody tells you how hard it is.'
Damn straight.
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