decluttering chaos

Exhausted since moving house this week due to insurmountable tidying that follows a fresh move.

Having a screaming baby who is distracting me from organising my new home, and being a single parent so I can't dump her on someone else - can get monotonous and exhausting. This is why I just plop on an old DVD (Monsters Inc. tonight was so good ) and binge eat chocolate on the couch every night lately. That is the time of evening when she finally sleeps alongside me. So I have a good hour to myself then only.

When your baby shrieks, your only option is to go with the flow. Cuz going on your phone/laptop while breastfeeding is probably why kids are turning out to develop psychological complexes. So instead, you get stuck spending 20 minutes doing 'nothing' but cooing and stroking your baby and making the silliest of silly faces. 

As a mum, that's what you're meant to do. It's your one job to care!

I get that toxic people think being a mother appears to not be 'productive', but their attitude reflects the toxicity in society. Something that is ingrained into my own anxiety that I'm never 'productive' unless I'm 'making art' and 'proving' it's worthy, aka. posting your work social media like a braindead zombie. But, without digressing again, helping nurture and inspire a new little life and mind, is an incredibly important job. Motherhood is like a secret agent job people that don't aways see in action!

Anyways, I had felt annoyed since my dad (who helped graciously with my entire move, thanks dad) kept saying that I have 'too much stuff' that he's never seen 'anyone with so much stuff'. But he didn't listen when I kept saying the contents of everything I've absorbed into this new house.

The truth is I've absorbed all my dead mums stuff; jewelry, piles of crafting equipment, clothes and books - which was HEAPS. Then I ended up taking all the childhood and middle grade books that weren't all mine, but belonged to my brother, only because I see their worth as nifty books that need some love and appreciation someday. Most of them are not specifically about trucks and dinosaurs, but even so, daughters can like trucks and dinosaurs too.

Anyways, I shouldn't be blamed either for holding onto so much stuff.

I have bags of Beanie Babies with the tags on. In such pristine condition it would probably make any collector's eyes water - but they're mine. I don't care about hoarding pristine purple bears, I just want my kids to enjoy breaking them in! Slobbering all over them and loving them! I am serious.I have so many Beanie Babies that have been completely unloved in bags for the last 10 years...

The only way any item can actually serve it's purpose, is that it should be USED until it reaches 'well loved' status.

Anyone else know the feeling? The massive satisfaction from repurposing old things?

Yet, the word 'repurposing' doesn't express the giggly joy I feel from unpacking a mug reading 'Dinkey Creek' featuring photo bashed art of three wolves on it, shaded in midnight blues and howling at a low-res moon.

This mug deserves pride of place in my kitchen. It is obviously from a gift shop Dinkey Creek, CA. I have items from around the world nearly. And all these items, be it from L.A, Sydney, Japan or Dinkey Creek (close to where we used to holiday in Shaver Lake, CA) all these items can find a final resting place here in my home. I know people can move a lot, but I kinda hope will be a forever home. It honestly feels like a keeper already!

TLDR; I ended up with a lot of family junk. Dad therefore, is wrong in saying it's some fault of me that I have 'too much stuff'. I'm irritated from being told the random items my late mom binge-bought are mine. 

I'm not the only hoarder! My dead mum had bought a flipping' T-shirt press , for f**ks sake!

I cannot draw at 9pm anymore. My brain is kaput these days, and I chalk it up to the fact moving and adapting to a new home is simply draining. I will probably refine this picture of Seren Dippity I painted last night trying to fight the 9pm fatigue flushing over me. But may not be capable of refinine it.

I am not beating myself up for my inability to 'be productive' when tired as a single/solo mum doing it all on my own anymore. People who are parents get this; being a attentive mum matters more than getting distracted drawing or even decluttering. So if I am not 'productive' every day, get over it.